Got Dream?

Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams-die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Langston Hughes

My dream is to love my daughter, like my mother would have loved me, if given the chance. I don’t know the whole story and now never will due to my fathers death some 13 years ago. My father decided my mother was not worthy of having us kids in her life and I finally meet her at the age of 23. I am lucky if i hear from her once a year now. I don’t know what it’s like to miss her, because I don’t know what it’s really like to have her in my life.  So with that said. I am living my dream. Today while helping  Kimberly bandage her toe after having a nail removed, I realized something. I realized I am giving Kim what my mother couldn’t give me. Seeing her soo scared, trying to be strong and scared shitless about the needle. Whew! I thought she was just being dramatic like most 15yr girls are. When I saw the sweatty pits she had..I knew then how frightened she was. After all was said and done. Her way of telling me she loved me was holding my hand on the bus all the way home. I love my Dream.

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5 Responses to Got Dream?

  1. FatGirlUSA says:

    I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL Connie due to the fact my biological parents did not raise me. My grandmother was my mother, my father, my world. I have tried over the years to understand my biological mother and to get close to her. However, at some point in one’s life you have to realize it’s not going to happen. My biological mother and I have no bond, no connection.. As you stated in your post, you have to be their for the diapers, the school plays, the school conferences and the toe nail removal. 🙂 So this post really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing, thereby, causing me to share. Bridgette

  2. Bridgette I am so glad you stopped by and commented~ And that you got something out of the post. I had a goood long bawlll after this post. I finally allowed myself, to cry over my DAD. Ya know it felt so weird because I was taught to show NO emotion. I came across his bible the other day. I just wish I knew if he is proud of whom I am becoming. I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye due to too many miles between us.

  3. FatGirlUSA says:

    CONNIE… LISTEN CLOSELY, you are proud of the person you are becoming >>> and that’s what matters most. Bridgette

  4. I am at a loss for words, now PASS THE TISSUES!

  5. bariatricbeginnings says:

    I completely agree, you’re becoming an awesome person Connie!

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